2000

Today twelve years ago, I was temping in the catering department at DC-3, a restaurant connected to the Museum of Flying near the Santa Monica airstrip. My mom picked me up and drove me to Joshua’s or maybe it was the Family Christian Store by then. Anyway, she took me to their Culver City store so I could pick up my dad’s birthday gift, which was in five days, and his Father’s day gift, which was like a week and a half out, which were already circled and picked out in my catalog. On the way home, we were stopped at the light right near the entrance to the 90 when my mom complained about the shining light that was so bright it was blinding her. I looked around and saw nothing. She asked me if I could see it, but I couldn’t. We figured it was in your driver’s side mirror and I couldn’t see it. She thought it was odd, I wondered what light she was talking about.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled into our driveway to find Uncle LC, who has recently passed away, banging on our door. We get out the car and he tells us that my Aunt Lavonia was on the phone with my dad when he stopped talking to her. My mom unlocks the door and rush inside and there he was… On the sofa sitting up with the phone inches away from his hand with his eyes closed.

With God’s strength, we picked up this six foot two inch man and laid him on the floor. I dialed 911 and they instructed us on how to do CPR. My uncle had taken off, so it was just me and my mom. Twelve years later, some of it’s a blur. I know at some point, I left my mom alone to continue CPR because the ambulance was taking so long. I ran to our neighbor, Mrs. Robinson’s house and asked her if I could use her phone because something was wrong with my dad, I dialed 911 again and again they told me they were on their way. Now having called them for Layla, twice, and my mom, once, they are pretty quick, but when terror is upon you, one minute seems like an hour.

They came finally and I directed them inside. I must not have stayed inside with them, maybe I stayed outside waiting for the police or fire department or maybe I was in the other room trying to reach my dad’s brother and his mother because I remember calling them and wondering why their phone was busy, because my mom tells me she overheard one paramedic say to another that my dad was dead and the other paramedic reminded the talker that it wasn’t their job to say if people were dead or alive but to keep working on them until they got to the hospital. They continued working on him, got him on the gurney, my mom grabbed my dad’s medication and out of the house they came. My mom told me to stay until my aunt or uncle came to drive me to the hospital and of they went.

A few minutes later, my Uncle Bob, Aunt Catherine, and Aunt Lavonia arrived in my Uncle’s car. My Aunt Lavonia still had the phone she had been talking to my dad with in her hand. I locked up the house and off we went.

My mom was in a waiting room with a chaplain. I don’t remember a lot. I remember the doctor coming in and hearing that he didn’t want to tell my mom anything until she had family. I know the chaplain gave us her card. Then the doctor told us that they couldn’t save him. My dad was dead. The man my mom had left at home reading the Word was dead. The man who was helping a family friend’s grandson read the church’s covenant fluidly so he could read it before the next communion was dead. The man who had finally got the promotion to move up from referring high school girls’ basketball games to high school boys’ games (I won’t even go there with the sexism there) was dead.

I went to see him. I looked down upon my shirtless dad with the wires removed, his old school black gym shorts on. I noticed that he was going bald in top. He was gone.

My human mind wonders what that final trip is like. One minute, he was talking to his sister-in-law about the Lakers (his team) chances of winning the championship and the next he was standing before God. For a second are you stunned by that? Do you wonder, wait how did I get here?

The last thing I ever said to him I said, “Have a good day.” I’m sure he said something similar back. Man, did he take my parting words to heart, he ended his day with the best day ever, he ended his day in the arms of the One that created him. Can’t have a better day than that, right?

We went back home and our family stayed for a while. At some point, I know I called some peeps like Heather, Mike, Suhnim, and Grace. I remember waking Mona up and telling her the news and asking her to please come home.

Twelve years ago, I was a very blessed woman. I had great friends who checked on me, offered to do whatever they could to help me, in any way they can. I had a pregnant sister who paid some humungous amount of money to get a flight for her and my two-year-old Mijo to be here for me. And I had peace because I knew however my dad left this earth via heart attack or whatever, it didn’t matter to me because I knew one day hopefully after I hold my great grandchildren in my arms that I will see him again. That I will spend eternity with him.

I had awesome friends and even though all those that showed me support, showed me love aren’t in my life for now or possibly forever, I thank them for their kindness, their graciousness. They were such a blessing to me, lifted my spirits.

I was blessed then and I am equally as blessed now and one day I’ll see my mom’s baby daddy again.


Many still mourn, many still weep
For those that they love who have fallen asleep
But we have this hope though our hearts may still ache
Just one shout from above and they all will awake
And in the reunion of joy we will see
Death will be swallowed in sweet victory

When the last enemy is gone
From the dust will come a song,
Those asleep will be awakened
Not a one will be forsakened
He shall wipe away our tears
He will steal Away our fears
There will be no sad tomorrow
There will be no pain, no sorrow

Where is the sting, tell me where is the bite?
When the Grave Robber comes like a thief in the night,
Where is the victory, where is the prize?
When the Grave Robber comes and death finally dies