Mary, did you know?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

I can't remember the first time I heard this song, but I do remember when I heard it it captured my attention. What did Mary know? She knew she was giving birth to God's son, but could she have truly understood what that meant? I don't think so. I thought I knew what it would mean to be a mommy, I imagined what it would be like but then the J-man came along and he blew everything out of the water.

I'm sure she didn't imagine she would give birth "outdoors", placing her newborn in a manger. I wonder what it was like to be chillin' with your firstborn and your man and wise men come presenting your baby with gifts, worshipping Him. Any momentary thoughts that her baby was just like everyone else's I'm sure died quickly then. But there had to be times as she watched the Man who would one day walk on water, calm storms with His words, that He was like other firstborns. His parents excited when He started crawling, talking, and walking.

I'm sure there must have been doubts of her worthiness, how could there not be. I look at my three and can't believe He entrusted me to care for them, teach them, love them. I worry about not making the right decisions and the potential fall out if I get it wrong. I am human. I am a sinner so I will fail them, but God will use my failure to train me and TTT and He will use it all for His glory.

I use to think it would be awesome to have a genius or two or three. Not that they aren't geniuses, but you know to have a genius genius child. But after some thought, the reality of it- - to have a five-year-old who is smarter than me, book wise, would be a hard pill for me to swallow. I'm trying to hang on for dear life with the things that come out of my normal genius five-year-old's mouth. I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like to rear a child who was perfect. On the upside, Mary never had never situations like these.

Sitting down to rebraid Josephina's (yes, I know Jewish people don't name their children after living relatives but go with me here) hair, Mary never would have said, "Jesus, did you cut your sister's hair again?"

And as she was presented with this fearful/shocked stare, she would have thought did he really think that I wouldn't notice that his sister's braid was noticeable shorter than when I braided it. "Why did you cut her hair?"

"I wanted her to look pretty."

"Josephina, you don't let people come towards you with scissors. Do you understand? And no one cuts your hair."

"Yes, Mommy," Josephina would have responded.

"Jesus, are you suppose to use the scissors?"

"No."

Sighing, Mary would have looked at her two children and said, "Let's not let this happen again."

And they would have both nodded in agreement.

Nope, Mary would have never had that conversation with Jesus. Though that's not to say she didn't have that convo with one of his brothers.

Oprah interviewed Elizabeth and John Edwards a few years ago and I don't remember most of the snow job that passed as an interview, but I do remember Oprah asking Elizabeth how it felt to hear she had terminal cancer or. And Elizabeth answered, after having police officers standing at your front door telling you that your sixteen-year-old son was dead that nothing can be as devastating or heartbreaking. I was blown away by that. I imagined or as much as I could imagine, that losing a child was hard but to hear it triumphed learning about your own death shocked me.

I know Mary pondered things and kept them in her heart. But I don't think she knew how it was all going to end. I don't think she knew, from the night in Bethlehem, she would one day hear and learn that a close friend, a brother, to her son would betray Him. I don't think she knew she would sit at the foot of a hill while her son hung on a cross simply because He was the Son of God. I wonder if her heart was eased at all by knowing He died to save her, to save the world. Did that ease her mother's heart? And what joy did she feel when her Son returned? I can't imagine she wanted to let Him out of her sight, to let go of His hand, to stop touching and kissing Him, like she had once done when He was a babe. And was watching Him ascend into heaven to sit at the right hand of His Father make "losing" her firstborn, her baby, a second time any easier?

The things we'll never know or at least not until we get to heaven. Okay, if I could have dinner with any person living or dead, Mary would be one of my invited guests.