Born is the King

I got out of bed but before my feet could even make it the four steps to the door, the crying began.

"Mommy," the human lojac cried.

"Baby, go back to sleep," I crooned, getting back in the bed to soothe her back to sleep.

"Mommy."

"I'm just going to the bathroom. Go back to sleep and Mommy will be right back."

"Wanna go with you," she continued.

Oh fine. Getting out of bed, I turned towards her and open my arms. She eagerly stood up, fell into my arms laying her head on my shoulder.

"Cherrios," she whispered to me.

"Layla, you are not getting any cheerios."

"Milk."

After a quick pit stop, we headed into the kitchen. I had been up for nearly three hours, it was time for a snack.

"Cheerios."

"Baby, all two-years-old are asleep at a quarter to five. You are not getting any cheerios or milk," I responded to her requests.

I sat her down on the counter as I took out the makings for a sandwich.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing to the bread.

"Bread."

"Oh. Making me and you sandwich?" she inquired, pointing between the two of us.

"No, I'm making me a sandwich because you're going back to sleep."

"Oh. That your meat?"

"Yes," I answered as I put the pork chop in the microwave. These pork chops Oma made are to die for. No, they are like butah.

Pork chop warmed, sandwich made, soda poured, while the should be sleeping two-year-old looked on. She climbed on my back and we headed back to the room. She got off my back and laid down in her spot.

I got in bed and she looked to me then to the sandwich and back. She sat up and pointed to/touched the bread. "Have some?"

I am reminded of why I eat when others are sleep and their Oma really needs to stop giving them some of her food every time she gets some. I am not going to be the mom from The Christmas Story who had never eaten a hot meal in the last twenty years. But Christmas time is here... "One bite."

She smiled, nodded, and lowered her head to take a bite. Shouldn't babies eat baby type foods, delicate things, not bites of their mommy's pork chop sandwich? Chewing happily, she thought she should test her luck. After swallowing, her gaze turned to the cup on the nightstand. "That your soda?"

"Yes."

"Have some, please?"

"No, baby, you need to go to bed." Plus you are soaking through your nighttime diapers and Mommy would really like to stop supporting the diaper industry. I've been doing it since 2004 and I would like a break. Though I'm not sure if she's really soaking through or if these Pamper Cruisers just aren't as hefty as our beloved buy of bulk Huggies.

The baby looked at me and decided it was best to lay down. I continued eating my sandwich and as I got to the last few bites and she looked at me sadly.

"Some?"

"Some, what?"

"Some, please?"

"Okay."

She joyously sat up, opened wide, and smacked down. No wonder this kid is so spoiled.

With the chewing completed, she smiled at me. The kid has a killer smile and to think once upon a time she wouldn't even smile at me. She snuggled back into her sleeping spot and closed her eyes. 5AM and my pork chop eating lojac was drifting back off to sleep. Ah, early mornings with the baby. Followed by fun nights with older kids.

This evening with multiple stops and loading the car made us super late for AWANA but I persevered. Can I tell you twelve-year-old boys have interesting minds? Frustrating minds? Like bang your head against the wall frustrating kind of minds? They make for interesting car companions.

For the first time, I was babyless because when I got home the baby was the only one, after spending the day at home with Oma, who wasn't dressed.

"Why isn't she dressed?" I asked.

"She didn't know where her clothes were," Oma replied.

"She doesn't know where her clothes are, but Jory does."

"Oh."

Deep breath. This is a ploy. I got it. If Oma doesn't want someone to go somewhere, it's because that particular child didn't know where to find his or her clothes or shoes. Suspiciously, Jory, as the oldest, the Yoda of TTT, in these circumstances is never asked where anything is. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure the baby knows where her pants are and can reach them. But bygones! This is the Oma way to keep one or more of her babies with her.

So since I was by myself at AWANA, I decided to call my Friday night pal, Roanna, and walk to McDonald's. My Lean Cuisine lunch had long since fled my tummy. I pressed Ro's button, but no Ro. What kind of alternate last AWANA of 2010 did I step into? No baby, no Ro, no stop at Goodwill, but I continued on.

After the walk to McD's, I quietly settled into the nursery as a dad tried to rock his baby daughter to sleep. I ate as quietly as I could to keep with the ambiance. With my meal completed, I dumped my purse and prepared for part two of the evening, returns. I separated Black Friday receipts. This night with a twelve-year-old, seven-year-old, five-year-old, and three-year-old, we're returning Black Friday gifts. Yeah! I had my game plan, JCP, the evil place known as Kohl's, then back down to Pic N Save, Toys, finish up with Target, then take the older two children home.

I heard the Cubbies saying, "Merry Christmas," and parents picking up children, as I was just finishing up. Let's get this party started. I grab everyone from their various classes, hug some friends goodbye, and we head out the door.

First stop at JCP, a semi-success, they no longer had the cute black pants I wanted for the girls. Instead I had to get some not so thrilled with black jogging type pants. And I refuse to start on my rant that not every little girl in the world needs to have blouses with flowers or butterflies or obnoxious sayings like, "I'm a diva" or "2 cute," on them. I don't find those sayings cute and I would just love a simple pink blouse once and a while. My goodness is that too much to ask for? Okay, I did rant.

Then I remembered, we had to stop at Macy's and return some shirts. I was a woman on a mission with four children. Can I ask why children act like escaped convicts when they are inside stores? Or why they act like stores are their personal playgrounds? Consequences for continued escaped convict actions are given.

Macy's was a success. We came in as the saleswoman was organizing the section with the shirt we needed to exchange. SCORE!

Out the mall and onto Kohl's where I saw cash registers I don't think I saw on Black Friday or maybe I couldn't seem them because the twelve billion people in the store were covering them. This place is evil. My twelve-year-old tried to hand me a card, where I could get 15% off if I gave them my email address. I shook my head. I'm never coming here again.

And we were off. Why was Pic N Save closed? Don't they know it's Christmas time and they should be open to 11, if not midnight? Fine, luckily I noticed this before I turned, onward Dasher to Toys. The kids stood in line, while I asked a sales associate where the View Finder slides were. He counted and said, seven aisles back to your right. I was suspicious. Why am I suspicious of salesclerks in a store? Maybe because sometimes you get the feeling, they will say anything to get rid of you because they don't want to be bothered. But I counted and he was right. I was shocked. And just as I predicted only Disney options were available. And as Rox and Deedee predicted nature slides were available. The girls got Disney and Jory got dinosaurs.

I ran back to the front of the store, did our returns, ran into a slight credit card problem, but I didn't allow the clerk to detour me. Success! We were out the store and with ten minutes to spare before Target closed. Thank goodness it's next door, though really people you could have left the parking lot opened. Now I have to drive out one shopping center, go to the light, then enter the next driveway, but bygones.

Everyone jumped out, I threw everything into the shopping cart and in we went. We were the only ones doing returns. And as the clerk was doing the returns, I asked myself why don't I shop here more? Why don't I buy all my things at the wonderful place that doesn't necessarily need a receipt for a return as long as you made your purchase on a credit card or with a check? That- - that is brilliance! Why don't more stores have that? Though I think K-Mart does.

The clerk finished with me only issuing two reminders to sit down and keep it down, and really that last one was to Rowan who is taking to the baby's way of talking, which means everything is shouted or said in a very loud voice. I wonder if the baby thinks we're deaf?

We're done! It's 11PM, Target is shutting off lights and we're heading home. SCORE!!! I'm a total rock star! I think Oma was a little suspicious and thought I couldn't do it. Ha! Does she not know I'm a returning rock star!