Seeing myself

The first time I read the Bible all the way through, it took me the longest time to get through the first five books aka The Torah. Not simply because it was a lot of material to digest, but mostly because the Israelites were so OBNOXIOUS!!! Yikes! The plagues happened. They witnessed the water turning to blood, frogs, gnats, diseases on livestock, boils, hail, darkness, and the death of the firstborn. They saw this yet none of it happened to them or their livestock or their children. They saw the parting of the Red Sea. Food came down from Heaven, so isn't that like food personally made my God. Must have been the best food EVER. Yet still with all of this, they disobeyed, grumbled, complained, made golden calves out of their jewelery.

I read Exodus and thought God truly loves us and praise Him that I'm not God because I would have killed those ungrateful brats. Waaaa, when are we getting to the Promised Land? Waaaa, Moses left us for a hot minute what are we suppose to do without him? I know let's make some idols. They worked my last nerve. I praised God for being who He is, was, and will always be and I was in awe of His patience with them.

The second time, I read the Bible through my eyes were opened and I realized my ancestors, the Israelites, were me and I was them. I wake up every morning and sometimes before I even thank Him for bringing me through the night and allowing me to see another day, I hop on the Internet to see what's going on in the world, to read about what movie has been greenlit, what TV show is in the works. He allows us safe passage as I take the terrific trio to school and Happy's. He has given me a job that allows me to put food on the table, to pay back my loan for my very useful degree that I got from the school that can't be named but is nicknamed the Hellmouth, yet when I eat lunch sometimes I don't even take a second to say grace.

How am I different from the Israelites? I'm not.

A while back, the baby was in this "mine" stage. Okay, we're still sort of in that stage, but I digress. One morning, I was rinsing off her toothbrush and putting toothpaste on it. The whole time I was working, she kept saying, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" And when I handed her her toothbrush, she smiled at me and said, "Thanks." I thought wow, isn't that me? God give me. Give me. Help me. Help me. He graciously and mercifully does, I give Him a heartfelt thanks and praise Him, and then sadly I go right back to my selfish ways. It is a constant struggle.

I watch my kids play together and sometimes they play together nicely. Everyone is sharing and caring and it's great, but that is solely due to God's grace.

I've had friends who were raised in the Scripture, with the Scripture, but have turned their backs on the beliefs they were raised with. I've seen their parents struggle with what to do. How do you find the strength of Abraham and lay your child on the altar? I've seen parents compromise their beliefs in fear that if they don't, their child will stop talking to them. As the parent of the terrific trio, I completely understand the dilemma these parents faced. The thought of not being a part of your child's life is terrifying. Yet every day, every second of every day God sees His children turn away from Him, but He remains the same (thankfully). He doesn't change His rules so He can stay apart of our lives. He remains faithful and just and is there for us when we are ready to repent and come home, like the prodigal son.

My babies are young yet, I don't know what the future holds for them or me. I pray they will be men and women who earnestly seek God, who love God more than anything. Yes, they will stumble and fall, like we all do, but I pray my eyes will remain on Jesus and I will direct them to the Truth continuously even if they threaten to ostracize me. A great group once sang to me, "If I keep my eyes on Jesus, I can walk on water."