Please pray with us and for us

My middle one or my oldest daughter, whichever way you prefer, has not had a good week at school. On Tuesday, she was sent to the bathroom to calm down. Yes, after more than five minutes of her piercing screams, it's best to send her to the bathroom, close the door, and let her emerge when she's calm down. Saves your hearing and your sanity. Usually when she comes out, she's smiling and happy.

So what was the incident that sent her into a forty-five minute screaming fit? Well her teacher had the audacity to tell her to put her shoes on by herself after naptime. Say what?! Put her shoes on by herself?! Oh, them are fighting words. Or rather screaming words. The audacity of some people.

Wednesday's work was sent home with the phrase "Refused to do work." And Thursday was a repeat of Wednesday.

I've talked to her, disciplined her. I've made her apologize to the teacher. I've asked her why she does this. She says because she didn't want to work or put her shoes on. I've asked her what God wants her to do. She says He wants her to listen and obey. I ask her if He's happy that she is being disobedient and she says no. Each day there is a promise to do better.

At the end of devotionals, we pray. Everyone takes a turn to pray after The Lord's Prayer and Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is said. And after praying for Auntie Dee Dee and Bubbles - the girls. And after my mature boy prayed for Auntie Dee Dee, Uncle Stan (yes! the connection of that relationship has been made), Bubbles, Aunt Julie, Aunt Julie's Daddy, and the church in Orange County (who know he knew where the church was? He's a genius.); I prayed.

I prayed for the kids, but looking at Rowan I prayed that God would change her heart. Because ultimately it is a matter of her heart. I prayed for wisdom on how to parent her because I so was not the child to scream when I was asked to do things or refuse to do things adults asked me to do. I was/am not a stubborn or hard headed person. This is hard. She can be such a loving, kind, generous little girl. She loves to snuggle, loves to be picked up and carried, loves to touch, and give hugs, kisses, but then there's this other side. I don't see so much the refusing to do things side because she knows it would be ON if she pulled that with me.

But the screaming at the slightest things, been there done that have the t-shirt to prove it. And when she emerges from the bathroom, 30 minutes later, so proud that she turned her t-shirt around the right way, it's hard for me to rejoice with her. This morning I was convicted of letting that anger simmer and holding it against her. When she comes out of the bathroom, we do discuss why she was in there, about her behavior, and what the appropriate behavior should be and why.

This morning before I left he school, we looked into each other's eyes and we had a Q & A on how God wants her to behave and act. Hopefully, she'll have a good day at school. When I drop her off in the mornings, she seems so happy and excited.

God is such a genius. I wanted a girl first. I had three nephews, I wanted a girl finally. I didn't want another boy. Boys' clothes weren't any fun. But He oh so wisely gave me not what I wanted, but what I needed. I needed a boy first. A beautiful, intelligent, funny baby boy because if Rowan had been my first, the baby train might have stopped with one. And if I somehow had her as my oldest and then the Baby was baby number 2 for sure I would have been finito! No more. No more. No more. I see how God works with children, slides the easy one in first so you think it's a breeze, then He ups the ante.

Tait (why did they break up?) on the genius Pandora was ministering to me:

Cause you oughta know
There’s a reason for these changin’ seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don’t you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they’re loved
My friend
So hold on, it’s not the end

There is a lesson for Rowan and I to learn through this season. And I know the lesson is something more than just how many times can I bang my head against the wall before I get a concussion and pass out. Or to teach me that parenting is not for wimps. It's just hard. But at the end of the day, the issues she's having are the same ones I'm having, they just manifest themselves in different ways.


The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

I wanna be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light