Confused

Recently I've been having a crash course in the world of teens. An extra shout out and prayer for those of you rearing teens and mentoring teens.

Two-and-a-half hours to get a book, on a third grade reading level, read. Three hours to get four plates, one bowl, four forks, one spoon, and a glass washed.

I want to bang my head against the wall though I have been blessed and have been able to keep a sense of humor, particularly when the emotional blackmail begins.

"Why do you hate me?"

"If you hate me,then one day you're going to hate the kids."

"God doesn't want you to hate children."

"This is child abuse."

I had to stop myself from laughing in his face. But those lines I'm going to remember until I die. They are just classic. Particularly when they were all said in relation to the torture of having to read for an hour a third grade watered down version of "Jane Eyre" complete with pictures.

He apologized after the two-and-a-half hours, which I accepted, but a week later it began again. This time over washing dishes. This three hour temper tantrum, like the first time included flicking the light switch off and on, dropping books on the floor, going to the bathroom a gazillion times, having a comment under his breath for everything you say, constantly questioning why he was being "tortured."

But this time, TTT saw part of it played out in front of them. Their tiny ears were wide open. They recognized he wasn't obeying or listening. They know the consequences when they don't listen and obey, so I know they were waiting to see the same thing happen to him. And there's the confusion - - I want to help, want to be a good influence, help point him to the Truth, but at what cost? Do I let TTT see someone disrespect me, disobey me, and be defiant? Someone who I have less authority over than I do them? Can their minds understand why he doesn't get punished like them because he's older, becaue he doesn't call me mom?

We did discuss his behavior and how and why it wasn't right and they seem to understand that. I wonder now how to we move forward. I've discovered the disrespect and disobedience only rears its head when he's asked to do things ie reading, homework, that he doesn't want to do. The rest of the time he is complaint, obedient. But I can't forget what lurks underneath. I can't forget we are just one request away from the ugliness, from him trying to stop himself from cursing at me.

I don't want to give up on him. I don't want to be another person in his life that decides his attitude is too much to handle, but I've got three growing babies to think about. Three babies who are always watching, always listening, always putting the pieces of the puzzle together.