Oh once there was a world where doctor appointments were simple. While waiting for the doctor to make an appearance, the nurse came in and suggested Rowan take her hearing and vision test first. Sounds great to me, we could kill two birds with one stone.
After Rowan some fumbles, Rowan seemed to get the hang of the hearing test and past with flying colors. Which was strange because I call her name and she doesn’t hear me? Maybe I should have that test retaken. We moved on to the vision test.
Does she know her letters, the nurse asked me. Before I could answer, she decided to use the chart with the shapes. Rowan struggled naming the shapes, which I understood because those hearts didn’t look like any hearts I had ever seen. I could have drawn better hearts and I can’t draw. The nurse turned to me and said, she’s going to have to see the optometrist. Whoa, slow your roll missy, what do you mean? These drawings were made in hieroglyphic times. Let’s dry this again. Why don’t you guys go back to the room and we can try again later, the nurse suggested. That sounded like a plan.
The doctor came, saw, and conquered, then we had to hunt down a nurse who cold administer the vision test. Not sure why it can’t just be anyone in scrubs, but whatever. This time Rowan does the letters. She stumbled on some, which made me less than happy.
“Rowan, you don’t know what that letter is?”
“Rowan, stop playing.”
She needs to go see the optometrist, the nurse declared. UGH! Does this woman know I have to go to work and I’ve just been trying to keep three children entertained in a tiny room for the last three hours? Don’t do this to us. Fine, off to the optometrist we go, I can’t believe this little girl did this to us. This was suppose to be an in and out visit.
We got a referral for a doctor in the building. At least, something was going right. We went down to his office to set up an appointment. Yes, they were open on Saturdays. Yiippee! But if we waited ten minutes, the doctor could see Rowan now. I looked at the clock and figured we could wait. I spent those ten minutes trying to get people to leave the rocks in the water fountain alone. They were cagey and just wanted to be free, which I got, but come on. Last time, I bring all three when only one of them has an appointment. That was my bad.
Finally, we were called in. Everyone wanted to sit in the big black chair. The doctor explained Rowan had to sit in the chair. She sat down, leaned back, and they got started. Bing! Bam! Bang! She needs glasses, he says and needs to were a patch over her lazy eye for a few hours every day and see you back in three months. What?! Wait?! Are you sure? Lazy eye? What lazy eye? It’s not like she’s one of those people who you can’t tell which way they are looking. What happened to bedside manner and spending more than five minutes with your patients? Is that a thing of the past?
So a nurse ushered us to the eyeglass section and started trying on various glasses on Rowan. My head starts spinning when I have too many options. Where were the regular kid shaped glasses? Some of the glasses weren’t meant for kids Rowan age. Some made her look like an old maid. No, she doesn’t need glasses with Snoopy on them. One because he’s on the side so she’d never see it. And two, because I have to chip in with the insurance company to pay for them. I wanted a neutral color but there was none to be found. Rowan liked the pinkish ones, so I went with that because my head was about to explode. They didn’t fit flush against her face so we were then sent over to the eyeglass woman, where more glasses were tried on and where I discovered the baby had put some rocks from the fountain in her pockets. Why did no one tell me that there would be days when I would want to chuck them all?
The glasses would be ready in two weeks, the eyeglass technician informed me. I thanked her and we headed out the door.
Two weeks later, the glasses arrived along with a patch for Rowan’s eye.
Her Oma saw her wearing the patch and asked, “Is that for her lazy eye?”
What in the world?! Was I the only one not to notice?
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