Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I have been to the mountain top
I have seen the promised land where your eldest wakes up to goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night, where he goes the whole night without wetting the bed. What a beautiful land it is, but my three day glimpse is not over and now I need to go to Rite-Aid and buy some pull-ups.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Car conversations
As we're driving to the South Bay, Rowan began talking.
"My brothers and sisters are coming to my party," my oldest daughter stated.
"You have a brother and his name is Jory and your sister's name is Baby," my oldest informed his younger sibling.
"Yes, I do have brothers and sisters- -" she continued.
"Your brother's name is Jory and your sister's name is Layla," he interjected firmly.
"My brothers and sisters live with my daddy," she responded.
"We don't have a daddy!" he retorted.
"I do have a daddy," she answered.
"What's his name?" he asked.
Unrecognizable answer given.
"Okay, you two. Let's be quiet," I jumped in before the argument started up again.
"Mommy, you're coming to my party," the baby announced.
Look at my baby saving the day with talks about her imaginary party. Amazing what your children know, but don't say. And how sometimes they aren't down with pretending.
"My brothers and sisters are coming to my party," my oldest daughter stated.
"You have a brother and his name is Jory and your sister's name is Baby," my oldest informed his younger sibling.
"Yes, I do have brothers and sisters- -" she continued.
"Your brother's name is Jory and your sister's name is Layla," he interjected firmly.
"My brothers and sisters live with my daddy," she responded.
"We don't have a daddy!" he retorted.
"I do have a daddy," she answered.
"What's his name?" he asked.
Unrecognizable answer given.
"Okay, you two. Let's be quiet," I jumped in before the argument started up again.
"Mommy, you're coming to my party," the baby announced.
Look at my baby saving the day with talks about her imaginary party. Amazing what your children know, but don't say. And how sometimes they aren't down with pretending.
Growing Babies
Sometimes before the baby wakes up, I look down at her tiny little feet and lift one up and kiss it. Such a tiny little foot attached to my tiny little baby. Except she's not so tiny, that "tiny" foot wears a size six. But for some reason in our queen sized bed, she looks so innocent and tiny, her hands and feet look so small.
The drool that sometimes runs down the side of her mouth, a sign she's not my sweet, little non-drooling baby. Or the stinky morning breath, another sign she's not a tiny, formula fed baby. In her sleep, she's not strong willed, doesn't give attitude, she's just my sleeping, tiny baby who I love endlessly. I wish I could freeze these moments in time.
The drool that sometimes runs down the side of her mouth, a sign she's not my sweet, little non-drooling baby. Or the stinky morning breath, another sign she's not a tiny, formula fed baby. In her sleep, she's not strong willed, doesn't give attitude, she's just my sleeping, tiny baby who I love endlessly. I wish I could freeze these moments in time.
Words
"I'm just dumb that's why I can't find it."
"Excuse me?!" I asked, my six-year-old who stood before me covering his mouth. Yep, dude I heard you. "What did you just say?"
He hemmed and hawed, then finally spoke. "I said, dumb."
"We do not say that. You do not say that about yourself or anyone else."
"Okay."
"Is it true?"
"No."
"Did God create dumb humans?"
"No."
"No, He did not. He made beautifully and wonderfully made creatures. I never want to hear you say that again, do you understand?"
"Yes," he answered, properly chastised and educated.
"Good."
Parenthood was much simpler before he started "thinking thoughts."
"Excuse me?!" I asked, my six-year-old who stood before me covering his mouth. Yep, dude I heard you. "What did you just say?"
He hemmed and hawed, then finally spoke. "I said, dumb."
"We do not say that. You do not say that about yourself or anyone else."
"Okay."
"Is it true?"
"No."
"Did God create dumb humans?"
"No."
"No, He did not. He made beautifully and wonderfully made creatures. I never want to hear you say that again, do you understand?"
"Yes," he answered, properly chastised and educated.
"Good."
Parenthood was much simpler before he started "thinking thoughts."
The question
I walked up to the counter at the library to check out some DVDs and books. The librarian and I started chatting as she checked me out. She inquired about TTT who usually were in tow when I came to the library. I told her they were in the car with their older cousin, waiting for me.
And then she asked, "Can I ask you a personal question?"
And since we've become BFFs during my weekly Saturday library visits, I said, "Sure."
"Are you married to an Asian man?"
I smiled and said, "No."
"Oh, because the little girl you bring in looks Asian."
I paused for a beat. How to answer. How to answer. "Her father is Asian."
"Oh."
After I said that, I didn't like that answer. I should have said their father is Asian. Rowan's birth father falls into the Pacific Islander/Asian category. Though I'm thinking next time I'm asked that question, I think I'm going to switch up my reply with a "their father is a Jewish carpenter," cause at the end of the day that really is the most truthful answer.
And then she asked, "Can I ask you a personal question?"
And since we've become BFFs during my weekly Saturday library visits, I said, "Sure."
"Are you married to an Asian man?"
I smiled and said, "No."
"Oh, because the little girl you bring in looks Asian."
I paused for a beat. How to answer. How to answer. "Her father is Asian."
"Oh."
After I said that, I didn't like that answer. I should have said their father is Asian. Rowan's birth father falls into the Pacific Islander/Asian category. Though I'm thinking next time I'm asked that question, I think I'm going to switch up my reply with a "their father is a Jewish carpenter," cause at the end of the day that really is the most truthful answer.
Searching
I was reading my wonderfully brilliant Entertainment Weekly when I came upon an article about Tom Shadyac. Tom directed such films Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Bruce Almighty, among others. He recently made a documentary about his search for enlightenment. He sold his mansion bought a trailer, got rid of his fancy cars, private jets in his search for more. He talked to philosophers, doctors, therapists, physicists, clergymen, and other like men and women. At one point in the documentary, Tom is hooked up via electrodes to yogurt. You know because we're all connected to each other.
As I read the article, I thought about another celebrity who was searching for meaning. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes of TLC was making her own documentary at the time of her death about her search for meaning. In Lisa's documentary, she was somewhere in South America with her entourage absorbing the teachings of some spiritual guru. And during her off times from the guru, Lisa spoke about her childhood about the grandmother who took her and her siblings to church every Sunday and then immediately took back the church clothes after service because grandma paid for them. Oh charity does begin at home. The rapper/singer spoke about numerology, ghosts, and all sorts of other false religions. It was so clear to see, like Tom, Lisa knew there was more to this life than living and dying, but sadly she couldn't hear Jesus knocking at the door of her heart.
While in South America, she accidentally hit a little boy who ran into the middle of the road to fetch his ball. As she spoke about the accident and the boy's subsequent death, she mentioned his last name was Lopez which was pronounced the same way as her last name Lopes and how she believed death was after her but this time got this little, innocent boy instead. How my heart broke at this woman, this mother, who was so desperately searching for truth and had no idea she was searching for God.
The video camera was recording as she was talking to her friends and then suddenly the screen went black. I rewound the show (I love Tivo) because I couldn't figure out what happened, then it dawned on me. This was where she died. I had literally just watched the last few seconds of her life. She tried to get around a car on a two way highway and ran into a truck coming in the opposite direction. If I remember correctly, Lisa died instantly and her passengers had varying degrees of injuries but survived. In this foreign land, her quest for the truth ended abruptly and sadly she never seemingly discovered the Truth.
I hope Tom learns and accepts the Truth before he dies. And I pray for my children, my niece and nephews, my loved ones that they all come to know Christ for themselves, have a personal relationship with Him. That when they become aware there is more to this life, that their search is as simple as "Jesus, please come in."
But there's more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
There's more than this life alone can be
So where do we start
To find every part
Of what makes this life complete
If we turn our eyes
To Jesus we’ll find
Life’s true beginning is there at the cross where He died
He died to bring us more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
There's more than this life alone can be
As I read the article, I thought about another celebrity who was searching for meaning. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes of TLC was making her own documentary at the time of her death about her search for meaning. In Lisa's documentary, she was somewhere in South America with her entourage absorbing the teachings of some spiritual guru. And during her off times from the guru, Lisa spoke about her childhood about the grandmother who took her and her siblings to church every Sunday and then immediately took back the church clothes after service because grandma paid for them. Oh charity does begin at home. The rapper/singer spoke about numerology, ghosts, and all sorts of other false religions. It was so clear to see, like Tom, Lisa knew there was more to this life than living and dying, but sadly she couldn't hear Jesus knocking at the door of her heart.
While in South America, she accidentally hit a little boy who ran into the middle of the road to fetch his ball. As she spoke about the accident and the boy's subsequent death, she mentioned his last name was Lopez which was pronounced the same way as her last name Lopes and how she believed death was after her but this time got this little, innocent boy instead. How my heart broke at this woman, this mother, who was so desperately searching for truth and had no idea she was searching for God.
The video camera was recording as she was talking to her friends and then suddenly the screen went black. I rewound the show (I love Tivo) because I couldn't figure out what happened, then it dawned on me. This was where she died. I had literally just watched the last few seconds of her life. She tried to get around a car on a two way highway and ran into a truck coming in the opposite direction. If I remember correctly, Lisa died instantly and her passengers had varying degrees of injuries but survived. In this foreign land, her quest for the truth ended abruptly and sadly she never seemingly discovered the Truth.
I hope Tom learns and accepts the Truth before he dies. And I pray for my children, my niece and nephews, my loved ones that they all come to know Christ for themselves, have a personal relationship with Him. That when they become aware there is more to this life, that their search is as simple as "Jesus, please come in."
But there's more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
There's more than this life alone can be
So where do we start
To find every part
Of what makes this life complete
If we turn our eyes
To Jesus we’ll find
Life’s true beginning is there at the cross where He died
He died to bring us more to this life
Than living and dying
More than just trying to make it through the day
More to this life
More than these eyes alone can see
There's more than this life alone can be
Mornings with Layla
"I want my chips," Layla cried, as she popped up from the bed.
Really? You wake up and the first words out of your mouth are about food? Oh wait, my bad, she's not really awake.
"Baby, you ate all the chips, remember?" I tried to remind her.
"Noooo."
"Yes, you and your siblings ate all the chips on Saturday."
"Oh," she said with the disappointment as clear the Hollywood sign on a cloud free day. "I want cheerios."
"Baby, why don't you go back to sleep and when you wake up we'll talk about you getting some cheerios."
"Okay," she responded, then laid back down.
I put the covers on top of her, kiss her head, and ready myself for the next round.
"Baby, it's time to get up."
"Nooo. I want cheerios."
There's my girl with her one, two punch. She doesn't want to get up and get dressed, but she would like some tasty cheerios. I thought children had taste buds, but they must not be fully developed because those cheerios are tasteless. But I'm not the ones eating them so it's all good.
"You have to get dressed, brush your teeth, then we can talk about you getting some cheerios, okay?"
"I want cheerios."
The vicious cycle begins again. Rowan was like this as a baby. This obsession of food first thing in the morning. Jory was never like this. I wonder if it's a girl thing?
Really? You wake up and the first words out of your mouth are about food? Oh wait, my bad, she's not really awake.
"Baby, you ate all the chips, remember?" I tried to remind her.
"Noooo."
"Yes, you and your siblings ate all the chips on Saturday."
"Oh," she said with the disappointment as clear the Hollywood sign on a cloud free day. "I want cheerios."
"Baby, why don't you go back to sleep and when you wake up we'll talk about you getting some cheerios."
"Okay," she responded, then laid back down.
I put the covers on top of her, kiss her head, and ready myself for the next round.
"Baby, it's time to get up."
"Nooo. I want cheerios."
There's my girl with her one, two punch. She doesn't want to get up and get dressed, but she would like some tasty cheerios. I thought children had taste buds, but they must not be fully developed because those cheerios are tasteless. But I'm not the ones eating them so it's all good.
"You have to get dressed, brush your teeth, then we can talk about you getting some cheerios, okay?"
"I want cheerios."
The vicious cycle begins again. Rowan was like this as a baby. This obsession of food first thing in the morning. Jory was never like this. I wonder if it's a girl thing?
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