Oh once there was a world where doctor appointments were simple. While waiting for the doctor to make an appearance, the nurse came in and suggested Rowan take her hearing and vision test first. Sounds great to me, we could kill two birds with one stone.
After Rowan some fumbles, Rowan seemed to get the hang of the hearing test and past with flying colors. Which was strange because I call her name and she doesn’t hear me? Maybe I should have that test retaken. We moved on to the vision test.
Does she know her letters, the nurse asked me. Before I could answer, she decided to use the chart with the shapes. Rowan struggled naming the shapes, which I understood because those hearts didn’t look like any hearts I had ever seen. I could have drawn better hearts and I can’t draw. The nurse turned to me and said, she’s going to have to see the optometrist. Whoa, slow your roll missy, what do you mean? These drawings were made in hieroglyphic times. Let’s dry this again. Why don’t you guys go back to the room and we can try again later, the nurse suggested. That sounded like a plan.
The doctor came, saw, and conquered, then we had to hunt down a nurse who cold administer the vision test. Not sure why it can’t just be anyone in scrubs, but whatever. This time Rowan does the letters. She stumbled on some, which made me less than happy.
“Rowan, you don’t know what that letter is?”
“Rowan, stop playing.”
She needs to go see the optometrist, the nurse declared. UGH! Does this woman know I have to go to work and I’ve just been trying to keep three children entertained in a tiny room for the last three hours? Don’t do this to us. Fine, off to the optometrist we go, I can’t believe this little girl did this to us. This was suppose to be an in and out visit.
We got a referral for a doctor in the building. At least, something was going right. We went down to his office to set up an appointment. Yes, they were open on Saturdays. Yiippee! But if we waited ten minutes, the doctor could see Rowan now. I looked at the clock and figured we could wait. I spent those ten minutes trying to get people to leave the rocks in the water fountain alone. They were cagey and just wanted to be free, which I got, but come on. Last time, I bring all three when only one of them has an appointment. That was my bad.
Finally, we were called in. Everyone wanted to sit in the big black chair. The doctor explained Rowan had to sit in the chair. She sat down, leaned back, and they got started. Bing! Bam! Bang! She needs glasses, he says and needs to were a patch over her lazy eye for a few hours every day and see you back in three months. What?! Wait?! Are you sure? Lazy eye? What lazy eye? It’s not like she’s one of those people who you can’t tell which way they are looking. What happened to bedside manner and spending more than five minutes with your patients? Is that a thing of the past?
So a nurse ushered us to the eyeglass section and started trying on various glasses on Rowan. My head starts spinning when I have too many options. Where were the regular kid shaped glasses? Some of the glasses weren’t meant for kids Rowan age. Some made her look like an old maid. No, she doesn’t need glasses with Snoopy on them. One because he’s on the side so she’d never see it. And two, because I have to chip in with the insurance company to pay for them. I wanted a neutral color but there was none to be found. Rowan liked the pinkish ones, so I went with that because my head was about to explode. They didn’t fit flush against her face so we were then sent over to the eyeglass woman, where more glasses were tried on and where I discovered the baby had put some rocks from the fountain in her pockets. Why did no one tell me that there would be days when I would want to chuck them all?
The glasses would be ready in two weeks, the eyeglass technician informed me. I thanked her and we headed out the door.
Two weeks later, the glasses arrived along with a patch for Rowan’s eye.
Her Oma saw her wearing the patch and asked, “Is that for her lazy eye?”
What in the world?! Was I the only one not to notice?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, yearly check ups were easy. We were in and out. And not literally in and out because even when you’re the first appointment and the doctor’s office, you’re still there for three hours for your ten minute visit. I’m being generous by saying ten.
It started with Layla. We go for her yearly check up. Oops, there’s a problem with her test results. She needs medication. And yeah, you’re going to have to take her to see another doctor and she’ll have to be on the meds for a while. What we didn’t mention she had to give a urine sample and now she won’t pee. Well you gotta take her to the lab those does our blood and urine sample work.
So you wake up early one Saturday morning and drive to the Valley to go to the lone lab facility that is open on Saturday. Then you proceed to spend an hour and a half there because she won’t pee. Even after being given tons of water. Sure, don’t pee now, but every time we’re ten minutes from the house or at some store with the nastiest bathroom known to mankind then you’ve got to pee like a banjee. We left the lab because it was closing and because she didn’t pee. Though they did let us keep the cup and maybe when she peed later, I could collect it, save it, and take it to a lab closer to my home. So I’m suppose to keep the container of pee? Yeah, why don’t I see that happening? I think we’ll have to try again next doctor’s visit.
It started with Layla. We go for her yearly check up. Oops, there’s a problem with her test results. She needs medication. And yeah, you’re going to have to take her to see another doctor and she’ll have to be on the meds for a while. What we didn’t mention she had to give a urine sample and now she won’t pee. Well you gotta take her to the lab those does our blood and urine sample work.
So you wake up early one Saturday morning and drive to the Valley to go to the lone lab facility that is open on Saturday. Then you proceed to spend an hour and a half there because she won’t pee. Even after being given tons of water. Sure, don’t pee now, but every time we’re ten minutes from the house or at some store with the nastiest bathroom known to mankind then you’ve got to pee like a banjee. We left the lab because it was closing and because she didn’t pee. Though they did let us keep the cup and maybe when she peed later, I could collect it, save it, and take it to a lab closer to my home. So I’m suppose to keep the container of pee? Yeah, why don’t I see that happening? I think we’ll have to try again next doctor’s visit.
School in the car
“Jory, spell speck.”
“Speck. S-p-e-c-k. Speck.”
“Good job. Now use it in a sentence.”
“Mmm, this speckghetti tastes good- - “
“Whoa! That’s spaghetti, little boy.”
He starts giggling hysterically.
“Speck. S-p-e-c-k. Speck.”
“Good job. Now use it in a sentence.”
“Mmm, this speckghetti tastes good- - “
“Whoa! That’s spaghetti, little boy.”
He starts giggling hysterically.
They are growing up
On Saturday, we were walking to the library. The baby hopped into the back of the stroller, much to Rowan’s displeasure. As we waited for the first light to change, Rowan turned towards the baby.
“Baby, can you please stop singing?! You’re giving me a headache.”
I had to stop myself from laughing and asking Rowan what exactly a headache is.
“Baby, can you please stop singing?! You’re giving me a headache.”
I had to stop myself from laughing and asking Rowan what exactly a headache is.
They are growing up II
Another sign, my children are growing up.
“Baby, can you please stop doing that. It’s annoying,” Jory informed his littlest sister.
It’s annoying? Where did he learn that? And how is he able to use it in a sentence? And how can he learn and use that word so easily, but still can’t 100% of the time tell me what time it is on a manual clock?
“Baby, can you please stop doing that. It’s annoying,” Jory informed his littlest sister.
It’s annoying? Where did he learn that? And how is he able to use it in a sentence? And how can he learn and use that word so easily, but still can’t 100% of the time tell me what time it is on a manual clock?
Friday, April 20, 2012
The aftermath of Auntie Whitney
“Oma, Auntie Whitney is taking me to the movies,” Rowan declared.
“Oh that’s nice,” Oma responded.
“Tomorrow, she’s taking me,” the five-year-old continued.
Wait- - what did she just say? “Rowan, you’re not going to the movies tomorrow with Auntie Whitney.”
She nodded her head. “Auntie Whitney said she was taking me to the movies on Sunday.”
“No, baby, she said she would take you when a good movie comes out, but not tomorrow. Okay?”
“Oh,” she said, disappointed.
Thanks a lot Auntie Whitney.
“Oh that’s nice,” Oma responded.
“Tomorrow, she’s taking me,” the five-year-old continued.
Wait- - what did she just say? “Rowan, you’re not going to the movies tomorrow with Auntie Whitney.”
She nodded her head. “Auntie Whitney said she was taking me to the movies on Sunday.”
“No, baby, she said she would take you when a good movie comes out, but not tomorrow. Okay?”
“Oh,” she said, disappointed.
Thanks a lot Auntie Whitney.
Auntie Whitney and Chuck E. Cheese
So on Saturday, we left the family’s newest craze throwing jewelry parties to go meet up with Aunt Whitney. It’s been so long since the kids last saw her, I’m not sure if they would recognize her.
True love is agreeing to meet at Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. We find a park in front of Chuck, get stamped, and find a table right next to the window. The kids had just eaten at my aunt’s so I didn’t have to worry about buying overpriced pizzas, that only happens for Jory’s birthday. I told the kids to go play on the free stuff until Aunt Whitney came. They went off and played and a short while later Aunt Whitney shows up. She buys tokens, and is now instantly everyone’s favorite aunt, and the kids scatter to the four corners of the earth.
She and I catch up and chat about any and everything. It’s so awesome having friends who you don’t see often or talk to on a super regular basis, but if you need them they come and when you see each other it’s like no time has passed at all. While we’re talking, I noticed something, then I noticed it again, and again.
The tables in front of us and behind us have had several different families sit in them while we sat and watited for the kids to come to drop off tickets and ask for more tokens and eat some of Aunt Whitney’s breadsticks and drink their sodas.
“Whitney, are these families coming here for the food?” I asked. I hadn’t seen their kids, leave the table with tokens in their hands.
“Yes, they only came for the food,” she answered.
“They came to Chuck E. Cheese to pay double the price of a pizza that they could buy anywhere else. A pizza that isn’t even good?” This couldn’t be right.
She nodded.
How is that possible?! Have these people never tasted pizza before? I only eat the pizza from their because it would be rude not to eat at my own son’s birthday party, plus on those Christmas Eve mornings I don’t usually eat breakfast so I’m starving by the time the pizza arrives at our table. And even starving that pizza isn’t good. Who knew such people existed? People who only came to Chuck to eat. This is how we know sin exists. Thanks Adam and Eve for ruining people’s taste buds.
True love is agreeing to meet at Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. We find a park in front of Chuck, get stamped, and find a table right next to the window. The kids had just eaten at my aunt’s so I didn’t have to worry about buying overpriced pizzas, that only happens for Jory’s birthday. I told the kids to go play on the free stuff until Aunt Whitney came. They went off and played and a short while later Aunt Whitney shows up. She buys tokens, and is now instantly everyone’s favorite aunt, and the kids scatter to the four corners of the earth.
She and I catch up and chat about any and everything. It’s so awesome having friends who you don’t see often or talk to on a super regular basis, but if you need them they come and when you see each other it’s like no time has passed at all. While we’re talking, I noticed something, then I noticed it again, and again.
The tables in front of us and behind us have had several different families sit in them while we sat and watited for the kids to come to drop off tickets and ask for more tokens and eat some of Aunt Whitney’s breadsticks and drink their sodas.
“Whitney, are these families coming here for the food?” I asked. I hadn’t seen their kids, leave the table with tokens in their hands.
“Yes, they only came for the food,” she answered.
“They came to Chuck E. Cheese to pay double the price of a pizza that they could buy anywhere else. A pizza that isn’t even good?” This couldn’t be right.
She nodded.
How is that possible?! Have these people never tasted pizza before? I only eat the pizza from their because it would be rude not to eat at my own son’s birthday party, plus on those Christmas Eve mornings I don’t usually eat breakfast so I’m starving by the time the pizza arrives at our table. And even starving that pizza isn’t good. Who knew such people existed? People who only came to Chuck to eat. This is how we know sin exists. Thanks Adam and Eve for ruining people’s taste buds.
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