21 minutes

that's how long it took to cradle, comfort, soothe, cajole Teddy into believing he doesn't need a bottle at 4::14AM, he can wait until 6 or 7.  He's back down now sucking his pacifier.  Let's pray he stays asleep.

It's 2AM

and I awake.  I see this precious little baby and I have to hold him.  I pick Teddy up , cradle him in my arms, and it hits me.  Before He spoke the world into existence, He knew this moment would happen.  And that no one He had created before me or after me could do what I was dong in this very moment which is being a mother to Teddy.  I am humbled and amazed by that.  And very, very grateful.